Recently I’ve been on two ends of the Twitter spectrum. When I first signed up (on an account whose name I don’t even remember anymore) I really did not understand the point of this thing.
It’s Facebook statuses without the Facebook, I said to myself one day in the past, sipping on a warm mug of french vanilla latte and reading the New York Times while listening to progressive South American jazz with my right leg lazily crossed over my left, the navy blue of my wool cardigan reflected onto the sides of my thick horn-rimmed glasses that don’t really help me see any better since I bought them from a vintage consignment shop that I took the subway to on my way to Whole Foods the day before.
When I held onto my second (and current) account long enough to start tweeting, I thought it was even more useless in practice than in theory. Going to the grocery store. I just announced to all three followers of mine that I am going to the store. Technology has reduced itself to announcing your every move to absolutely no one who cares. Was I doing something wrong? Was it that I didn’t know enough people for it to actually be of any use?
Eventually I found more of my friends on Twitter and I’d read about how they don’t want to get out of bed and how they’re brushing their teeth after a really boring class and how one friend wanted to rant about something that took more than 140 characters no matter how abbrevated he tried to make it (Cnt blv prof gv quiz b4 cls evn strtd! Im so mad i cd…) I was angry. I was angry with myself, my friends, and with God (because it’s not really a struggle unless you’re angry with God) for making such a successful useless piece of crap.
Then there were the celebrities. Currently I’m following Ashton, Martha, and Sam Champion of the weather. I know I could be following so much more interesting people, but that’s who I have now. If they aren’t talking about lunch with Vogue or dinner with Mariah or post-dinner-cocaine-shoots with Gaga…
I’m getting off topic here. (And by here I mean the second sentence of the post.) The point is Twitter is good if you have an interesting life. The best tweets come from those who are too lazy to get out of bed but do it anyway. They have something to tweet about. Twitter is good because if you want at all for your tweets to be anywhere as interesting as the celebrities you’re following or any of your more-put-together-and-socially-competent-than-you friends that you’re following, you have to be actually doing something worth tweeting. Using the Transitive Property of Non-sensibly Successful Media Trends, you get that Twitter is good because it encourages one to have a more interesting life.
I’m not saying my life is any more exciting than it was before I started using twitter. To be honest, I get really jealous whenever someone tweets like an asshole (a Twatter, if you will). But I really shouldn’t, because things like that should be motivating me to one-up them, and that’s never a bad thing.
OR I could just have fun with it and stop making it more than what it is.
@ me: @markatique
WHAT HAVE YOU BECOME!?
and i was totally with you that day you got the glasses, not on your way whole foods, on your way to getting my nose re-pierced, and getting cheap $1 pizza in the village.
it’s these other glasses that i bought at a consignment store! this was all sarcasm though silly!